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Uncomfortable Conversations with a Black Man-Emmanuel Acho

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INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLERAn urgent primer on race and racism, from the host of the viral hit video seriesUncomfortable Conversations with a Black Man”“You cannot fix a problem you do not know you have.” So begins Emmanuel Acho in his essential guide to the truths Americans need to know to address the systemic racism that has recently electrified protests in all fifty states. “There is a fix,” Acho says. “But in order to access it, we’re going to have to have some uncomfortable conversations.”In Uncomfortable Conversations With a Black Man, Acho takes on all the questions, large and small, insensitive and taboo, many white Americans are afraid to ask—yet which all Americans need the answers to, now more than ever. With the same open-hearted generosity that has made his video series a phenomenon, Acho explains the vital core of such fraught concepts as white privilege, cultural appropriation, and “reverse racism.” In his own words, he provides a space of compassion and understanding in a discussion that can lack both. He asks only for the reader’s curiosity—but along the way, he will galvanize all of us to join the antiracist fight.

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Emmanuel Acho is the son of Nigerian immigrants who went on to play in the NFL, became a popular television sports analyst, and started an online video series with the same name as this book. And, I must admit, I’ve never heard of him. I’m much older, white, and watch little NFL football.I was, however, intrigued by the title of this book, in part because I have always found every occasion with the greatest opportunity to teach us about ourselves just a little uncomfortable. And like a lot of people of every race I am at a loss to explain why we are still having the black/white conversation. Not that we don’t need to have it, mind you, now more than ever, but how can that be? Is somebody putting something in the water?The answer is yes, figuratively speaking, but first a little about the style and structure of the book. The book is true to its title, which you don’t always find these days. Emmanuel starts each chapter with the kind of question on a lot of white minds (questions that he has actually received, not softballs of his own making) and then proceeds to answer that question in a rational, common sense way. He uses the word “uncomfortable” a lot but if this book makes you uncomfortable there is no honest book on this topic that is going to be acceptable to you.Many of the questions have to do with the whole notion of systemic. Is racism systemic? Of course it is. How could we possibly live in our current world and it not be systemic?I think there are two issues that give rise to this argument/confusion. The first has to do with mathematics. In any data pool there is never going to be one of anything. Of course there is black-on-black violence. But there is plenty of white-on-white violence, too. The race of the participants is meaningless. And while there must certainly be angry black men, I have met no shortage of angry white men as well. There might even be more of the latter, even on a per capita basis. (Did you follow the election on either side?)The second issue is the whole institution of vocabulary and the words on which it is built. Words do not exist naturally, like rain or bauxite. We made words up to assist in our communication. Which means that we made them up in our own image, to rationalize our personal worldview. But that is why words must be understood in the context of those with the power to shape the vocabulary. Of course all lives matter, but there is no context to that phrase. It is meaningless and clearly not on a par with black lives matter. The latter has context and cannot be conflated with nothingness.The word that I believe fuels racism the most is seldom mentioned – merit. The most common fallacy you hear from racists and supremacists is that the US is a meritocracy. If one race isn’t getting ahead to the same degree it’s only because they aren’t trying as hard. That’s baloney. Merit may count, in the US more than elsewhere perhaps, but we do not live in a meritocracy or anything close to it. (And don’t bring up the Asian comparison. Again, context. Asian immigrants go through a double selection process that blacks do not.)Getting ahead is not a meritocratic process. Again, it only exists in context. Even in sports. Name the five greatest linebackers of all time. You will be wrong. You are entitled to your opinion and there are some that are better than others and that is obvious to everyone. But the best? Football is a team sport. It’s played under different playing conditions every game, and against teams of forever changing skills and talent. Even the rules change over time.Which is also why the fact that there are wealthy and successful black people is irrelevant. So what? What does that have to do with racism? On any objective basis, nothing.And why I believe we have to change two things before we can create a more fair and just society. The first is that we must change the way in which we fund education. The belief that rich families deserve better education is an extension of the meritocracy myth. And we must take the money out of politics. Money is structurally racist. Of that there can be no denial. (For every wealthy black entertainer or athlete there is a gaggle of super-wealthy white hedge fund managers.) And as long as there are our politics will continue to be structurally racist. We promote what we are.Emmanuel’s ultimate suggestion is just to talk. Let’s get the issues into the open and start a dialogue. I am all for that but do not believe that will solve the problem until we are ready to put that dialogue in context and to understand that the exception does not invalidate the rule.I want my daughters to see color. I just want them to see it in context. I want them to see it for what it is. It is color; nothing more, nothing less. To say that you don’t see color is to say, in fact, that color is everything.This is a very good book, well written, and while it addresses a lot of questions that ignore context in their asking, what Emmanuel ultimately does is to put those tough questions into the right context. We should listen.
Wow. This may be the fastest that I’ve ever devoured a book. But then, after listening to every episode of Emmanuel Acho’s in-person provocative Uncomfortable Conversations with a Black Man, I’ve been anxiously waiting for its publication.Acho clearly wrote this book, as his passionate, honest, and didactic voice is evident on every page. I’m expecting his words to be the go-to manual for anyone—especially educators like myself—who want to get answers to difficult questions that they may have been too afraid to ask a black person before. Each chapter is clearly divided into four sections, and the final “Talk It, Walk It” section gives practical ways we could fight for racial justice and equality.The Quick Talks, Recommendations, and References at the end of the book are the icing on this important and timely read. For a young man who turned just 30 years old today, I suspect that this courageous work, not his football or ESPN stardom, will be what will make the greatest impact on countless people who seek racial understanding and an end to systemic racism. Thank you, Mr. Acho for being such a bright light in this world.

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